Who really has the time or inclination to sit around detangling Christmas lights? I would gladly pay someone a small fortune to take this odious task off my hands. In fact if there is anyone out there who would like to volunteer for the job then please let me know, because I'm willing to pay top banana to whoever the poor bastard is!! Iv been sitting here for what seems like a life time trying to unravel my once new, but now very decrepit looking Christmas tree lights. I'm no better off nearly a half hour in to the task, have a stress headache and they still look like multicolored, neon spaghetti. It really does make you wonder about all the time we spend putting up decorations, cooking mince pies (or buying if your lazy like me), and preparing the Christmas turkey? Is it really worth all that hassle when all your left with at the end of it is a sink full of dirty dishes and a sorry looking tanglement of fairy lights? Ooh i know don't be a scrooge you say? But really have a think about the whole build up to Christmas. The constant unrelenting Christmas jingles, writing cards to practical strangers and that mad last minute shopping spree that you swore last year you wouldn't ever do again for those last few forgotten gifts! Off-course we cant forget about re-mortgaging the house to pay for all those expensive presents. When the day does arrive it comes and goes quicker than an orgasm leaving us dazed, confused and very fucking broke while we wonder was that it?
How I wish I was a kid again. Back then my only responsibility was to watch the milk and cookies until Santa got his fat ass down the chimney with my latest, must have, piece of shit Barbie doll.I hadn't a care in the world! After ripping my gifts asunder I'd run of with my brothers toys because they were way cooler than my Barbie and my boring little pony. I'd plonk my ass in front of the TV for the afternoon ,with my second selection box of the day, until my diligent mother served me dinner. Wow, in retrospect, we really did have the life of bleedin Reilly! Now I'm sitting here swearing at plastic x-mas tree bobbles which I'm seriously considering flinging in the bin. However, there is another side to Christmas that i cant deny. It's that magic feeling we get this time of year when the hyperactive child in all of us is awakened! We start lobbing snowballs at each other and stuffing our gobs with endless amounts of mince pies despite their amazing ability to shrink our waistbands! All our worries seem minimized by the festive feel that everything exudes, even the toilet seems more cheerful! So maybe all that preparation and thoughtfulness was worth it after all. Especially, when we see the kiddies little faces light up like halogen lamps when they see what Santa brought them. However, I cant stay too bahumbug about Christmas for too long despite my pessimistic ramblings. After-all, It does only come once a year and i can chuck these sorry looking fairy lights in the bin with a view of buying more next year when the Yuletide juices are once again flowing! Whilst I'm sitting here contemplating all this I catch a glimpse of a half empty box of mince pies and smile to myself conspirately sure whats the harm in one more?!!