Saturday, 9 January 2010

Why Don't You Try On My Size 13's For A Bit

Put yourself in a mans shoes: Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that you are in fact a man. You look down and see your big hands, strong arms and big...erm well ladies you know what I'm getting at here now don't you? You have no doubts about your attractiveness or that the majority of women wear their hearts on their sleeves thus contacting you first, desperate for a date. So what do you do? It's quite simple really, you decide to take your sweet time replying, phoning or basically at any form of contact with them because in this way, you are in control. The desired result is as expected – They are begging for more, texting you, phoning and basically using any method of communication available to let you know they are yours. When they do text, you look at your watch and decide to reply after the football, gym or maybe not even at all. Then if your really cruel you text them in a few days when you feel like flirting because frankly your too busy today and couldn't be bothered to pick up your phone (oh so heavy right now!)to text back no matter how into them you really are! So the women keep texting and calling whilst you keep screening their texts, emails, facebook messages and/or missed phone-calls. When you finally do bother your ass to write back you don't have to wait long (oh around 40 secs) for a reply. You find this far too easy and boring! Following this you decide to move on and find a woman who has enough self respect and balls to play the game as is should be played! With a whole lot of of patience, cynicism, and downright cruelty. You might think I'm being a bit far fetched or pessimistic about the opposite sex but thats just your denial over-ruling your common sense. Off-course, there are always exceptions to the rule. Some men will in fact text or ring back accepting your cry for a date but lets be honest with ourselves here, how long do you stay interested for? A week, two maybe even a month if their lucky? I can bet that you get bored very quickly whilst your eyes and lips start to look for greener or more handsome pastures. So the point of all this is that to have a chance in hell of getting anywhere we must first realize that men are just as dispensable to us as we are too them. Hopefully we can avoid making the mistakes that cause them to go riding off into the sunset with some other woman who is just playing the game with some tact and a whole lot of tact!

Never text or make any sort of contact first: Ok, so here it is in a nutshell, when you text a man first you are translating to him that you are “Needy”. You are needing of his time, attention and acceptance! To a man it's all about the thrill of the hunt. They want to chase after you and be under no illusion's yes, it is, simply a game to them! Remember back in the stone age when they ran around in their loin-clothes hunting for that poor defenseless deer? Well they are still wearing those but they have been replaced by calvin klein boxers (if he has taste that is), they are still hunting for their prey aka us. We disrupt the man chases woman equilibrium when we text, ring, or do anything to contact them first resulting in their infinite boredom and an empty message inbox. I'm sure you have all experienced this at one time or another? So i ask you to take a moment and reflect on the preceding events to this unfortunate slap in the face! Did you text him first? or everyday? Or did you commit the immortal dating sin and ask him out on a date first?

Never reply too soon: Mr. Right or wrong has finally texted you. You compose yourself because if your like 99% of the female population you've been screaming so loud your house-mate thinks you've had some sort of freak kitchen accident. But what do you do now? Do you quickly write something witty and simple because your afraid he'll get bored? No, unless you want him to lose interest quicker than diarrhea that is! Instead take your time to read over what you have written. Imagine him reading your text. Try and make them suggestive like “so if your buying me a drink, ill buy you desert!” ok, ok so your thinking thats a bit slutty? But it is only a bit of fun and you don't really have to em well provide desert so to speak or do anything you don't want to. Its all a game and you are just trying to keep him interested long enough to get to know you.

1 comment:

  1. Luv it!


    Except I don't have the self control to put it into practice lol